You can spend years working on yourself and still stay stuck in unrest or tension. Polyvagal theory shows why real change only begins once your body feels safe. In this article, healer Daniëlla van de Zande tells you everything you want to know about polyvagal theory and the vagus nerve. She also shares tips on how to relax your overstimulated nervous system in everyday life.
You cannot consciously choose how you respond to threat: fight, flight or freeze; it happens automatically.
The body as a guide
Perhaps you have been trying to change your life through therapy and behaviour for some time. Maybe you have already gained deep insight into your patterns. As a result, you have learned to recognise your triggers ever more quickly and have managed to map out your survival mechanisms. But what if, despite all this, you still feel restless, tense or overstimulated? What is going on then? Polyvagal theory gives a clear answer to this. Because recovery begins in the body
What is polyvagal theory?
Polyvagal theory (PVT), developed by professor of psychiatry and neuroscientist Stephen Porges in 1994, is rooted in the concept of neuroception. This is the unconscious process by which our body constantly scans whether something is safe or threatening. According to the theory, the autonomic nervous system has two important branches: the sympathetic and the parasympathetic system, the latter containing a ventral and a dorsal part. The theory is based on three principles; neuroception, hierarchy and co-regulation.
When we feel safe, the parasympathetic system comes to life. It helps us relax, calm down and connect. Not only with ourselves, but also with others. If, on the other hand, we sense danger or a threat, the sympathetic system kicks in. Our body prepares for action, ready to fight or flee.
This subtle, often unconscious capacity of our body is able to continuously sense whether a situation is safe or rather threatening. That means that, without you thinking about it, your system scans the environment. Polyvagal theory explains how our autonomic nervous system continuously scans; am I safe or not?
Fight, flight or freeze
This theory also shows us how our defence system has developed over the course of evolution. Namely, in three layers of responding.
First there is the system of social engagement. When we feel safe, we seek connection, contact and cooperation. When that safety falls away, the body switches to mobilisation, the so-called fight or flight, so that we can take action to protect ourselves. When that offers no way out, immobilisation follows: freezing, stillness, the shutting down of energy.
These responses happen largely unconsciously and are deeply anchored in the nervous system. They serve you because they help you survive, and they are shaped in part by all of your earlier experiences, including profound or traumatic events.
Triggers put our brain on alert
Polyvagal theory makes clear that our responses to threat are not only physical but also deeply social.
When, for example, we were hurt in the past, especially by someone dear to us, our nervous system can later sound the alarm unconsciously in similar situations. Even when there is no real danger in the here and now, the body can still react as if there is. A glance, a certain tone, a posture or even a single sentence can be enough to activate that old trace.
Such a trigger puts our system on alert. We can suddenly feel overwhelmed, shut down or, conversely, become tense. The body then switches to protection, which can make us feel closed off and unsafe. While the present is in reality free and unburdened and the threat actually comes from the past.
Three modes of the nervous system
Ventral (safe & connected)
You feel calm
You can think clearly
You feel connection with others
This is where real growth takes place.
Sympathetic (fight/flight)
Unrest
Restlessness
Overthinking
Difficulty relaxing
Many people experience life in this way.
Dorsal (freeze/shutdown)
Fatigue
Numbness
No motivation
A feeling of absence
This is often confused with laziness or depression.
Important:
You cannot 'think positively' your way to safety. Your body must first experience that it is safe.
The sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous system
What is the difference between the sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous system?
The sympathetic nervous system is the part of our autonomic nervous system that prepares our body for action. It regulates important functions such as breathing, heart rhythm, blood pressure, circulation and body temperature.
When we feel threatened, this system mobilises us for fight or flight. At the same time, it activates the HPA axis, releasing stress hormones to give us extra energy in a challenging situation.
The parasympathetic nervous system, on the other hand, is the part of the autonomic nervous system that regulates relaxation, recovery and rest. It slows the heartbeat and breathing, stimulates digestion and helps the body store energy. It ensures that we feel safe, calm and connected, and supports recovery after stress or exertion.
Key characteristics of the sympathetic nervous system:
Prepares the body for action: fight or flight
Increases heart rate and heart rhythm
Speeds up breathing to supply more oxygen
Raises blood pressure and stimulates blood circulation to the muscles
Increases energy supply by releasing glucose
Slows or temporarily inhibits digestion
Regulates body temperature through sweating
Activates the HPA axis (hypothalamus–pituitary–adrenal) and stimulates stress hormones
Increases alertness and focus on threats
Can lead to muscle tension and a sense of readiness
Key characteristics of the parasympathetic nervous system:
Promotes relaxation and recovery of the body
Slows heart rate and breathing
Lowers blood pressure and promotes calm blood circulation
Stimulates digestion and the absorption of nutrients
Supports recovery and regeneration of tissues
Helps with energy storage and balance in the body
Promotes connection and social engagement
Reduces muscle tension and allows the body to soften
Supports the feeling of safety and wellbeing
Polyvagal theory and physical complaints
Polyvagal theory shows that an autonomic nervous system that is out of balance can play an important role in physical complaints. This can manifest, for example, in stomach and bowel problems such as IBS (Irritable Bowel Syndrome), constipation or leaky gut syndrome. But also in cardiovascular complaints such as palpitations or high blood pressure. Especially when there are post-traumatic experiences or other mental challenges.
What makes this theory special is that it not only explains how these complaints arise, but also offers tools for treatment.
Polyvagal theory in action
You cannot consciously choose how you respond to threat: fight, flight or freeze; it happens automatically. In people who have experienced violence or abuse, you often see feelings of guilt or shame because they did not resist or even dissociated. It is important to understand that how your body responds in a life-threatening situation is not a conscious choice.
The body's decisions arise through a neural process called neuroception. The nervous system registers subtle signals of safety or danger and automatically chooses the response that best supports survival at that moment. So before you try to change your patterns, you may first regulate your body. Your brain literally gets less access to calm and clarity.
The importance of polyvagal theory
Polyvagal theory helps us understand how and why we respond to stressful situations. It shows where our responses come from and how our body and nervous system work automatically to protect us.
By learning about our brain, the cranial nerves and how, for example, mammals respond to danger, we gain insight into the crucial importance of a safe environment for us as human beings. It emphasises how important it is to provide a healthy and safe environment from an early age, so that the nervous system can develop optimally.
Moreover, through the theory we know that our sense of safety can be restored and trained. And also that the first layer of our nervous system, connection and social engagement, opens the way to healing. We need each other; we cannot do it alone.
Recovery from trauma and stress therefore begins in the body. That is the place where safety can land again, so that life energy can start to flow once more.
In this way we better understand why people, often unconsciously, respond in a certain way to danger, stress or threat, and how these responses arise from the body itself. And so we can bring more compassion to ourselves and each other.
How can you apply polyvagal theory in your daily life?
Here are a number of ways to apply polyvagal theory in your daily life:
1. Recognise your physiological response to stress:
The autonomic nervous system (ANS) regulates our physical responses to stress. The branches of the ANS are linked to different physiological responses. These responses take place even when we are not aware that our brain has detected danger or a threat. By paying attention to your bodily sensations and reactions, you can recognise when your ANS is activated and which response is dominant.
2. Practise self-regulation:
Self-regulation is the ability to manage your emotional state and physiological responses to stress. Many self-regulation methods are aimed at activating the vagus nerve, such as slow, abdominal breathing, gentle touch and activities that promote relaxation, like yoga or meditation. Here you will find more easy exercises to calm your vagus nerve.
3. Build social connections:
According to polyvagal theory, contact with others and using our social engagement system helps us to regulate our emotional state. We call this co-regulation. Positive social connections can give us a sense of safety and security, reduce stress and calm the nervous system.
4. Identify triggers:
The theory suggests that different stimuli can activate different branches of the ANS. By recognising your triggers, situations or events that feel threatening to you, you can better understand which circumstances activate your stress response and learn how to avoid or manage them.
5. Seek professional support:
If you are struggling with anxiety, depression, trauma or other mental health problems, working with a professional familiar with polyvagal theory can help you better understand and regulate your ANS responses to stress.
5 practical exercises based on polyvagal theory to calm your nervous system
1. Slow exhalation (has an immediate effect)
The exhalation activates the vagus nerve.
Breathe in for 4 counts
Breathe out for 6–8 counts
Repeat for 2–3 minutes
Feel how your heart rate drops.
2. Orientation exercise (safety in the moment)
Look around you and name:
5 things you see
3 sounds you hear
1 place in your body that feels relaxed
Your nervous system learns: I am here. I am safe.
3. Gentle movement
Slow, rhythmic movement (such as rocking or walking) helps regulate the system.
Walk for 10 minutes without your phone in your pocket.
Attune your pace to the rhythm of your breath.
4. Self-touch
Place one hand on your heart and the other on your belly.
Say softly to yourself:
"It is okay. I am here."
This sounds simple, but your body responds to safety signals.
5. Social regulation
We regulate through connection.
Seek eye contact.
Talk to someone with whom you feel safe.
Or listen to a calm voice through a podcast or a guided meditation.
Safety arises in connection.
The body as a guide
Our nervous system carries the story of our life. As Dr. Bessel van der Kolk so aptly says; "The body keeps the score". Let the body be your guide. Trust the wisdom that lives in your nervous system. Remember that resilience is always present and that healing is possible. And that you too can return to a state of safety, presence and life.
Source: Daniëlla van de Zande